Gentlemanly Communication

The following letter arrived in the Daily Universe this week.

BYU culture struggles to maintain the outdated and patriarchal views that disguise feminine repression through seemingly selfless acts of self-proclaimed “gentlemen.” While walking through campus, I do not see any damsels in distress.

I see competent, intelligent, professional women that do not need a man to hold the door, pay for a date or even present a shiny ring in the traditional manner.

I have hands, thank you. I do not feel flattered when you awkwardly hold the door open for helpless little me. I also have money.

Women who allow men to pay for them on a date are prostituting their worth not only in the relationship, but also in a capitalistic society that strives to provide equal opportunities.

Our income is worth just as much as any man’s labor could produce. Finally, I am equally capable of finding my own mate. My agency need not be stifled by the whim of a male who finally decides that I am worthy to be by his side. I, too, can take a knee; I too can afford a ring. Do you want a princess cut or a solid band?

My fellow sisters in Zion, do not be fooled into thinking that men wear the pants in the relationship. You can, too. Not only are skirts a safety hazard, preventing you from running away from danger, but they are also a symbol of your submissiveness. So, zip up the pants and assume your position next to the man — not behind him.

Mariana Toledo
Sao Paulo, Brazil

I happen to strongly disagree with this viewpoint. I think that it is important for men to show women respect, communicated through their kind actions, and I don't see it as demeaning or sexist. What do you think?